Most of us spend our days in a whirlwind of meetings, emails, and conversations. We like to think we are communicating effectively. But are we really?
I have noticed something peculiar in professional and personal conversations: a tendency to hide behind empty phrases. You know the ones:
- “I am excited to be here.” (Are you? Really? At this 7:30 AM quarterly update?)
- “I love summer because the days are longer.” (A revelation worthy of a Nobel Prize.)
- “My electric car is good for the environment because it has zero emissions.” (Yes, let us conveniently forget the battery production and where the gazillion kilowatt-hours come from that accelerate this containership-heavy vehicle in 4.3 seconds from 0 to 200 km/h.)
- And of course, the all-time classic: “It depends.” (The ultimate non-answer, as safe as the gold in Fort Knox… or is it?)
This is what I call PPPM: Perfectly Polite, Perfectly Meaningless communication.
It is friendly. It is inoffensive. It is the verbal equivalent of a lovely cappuccino with apple pie—both disappear quickly, especially when you are scrolling on your phone while enjoying them
The Hidden Cost of PPPM Communication
🟪 Important ideas are lost in a sea of politeness.
🟪 Disagreements never see the light of day (until they explode spectacularly later).
🟪 Relationships remain situationships with no further meaning than short relief.
🟪 People walk away from conversations none the wiser.
🔍 How to Spot a PPPM Conversation:
- Nervous laughter at serious moments. (“Haha, yes, great point about our entire budget disappearing!”)
- Changing the subject the moment things get interesting.
- Saying nothing in response to something important.
Meanwhile, time ticks by, and we all wonder why meetings feel like endurance tests.
The Alternative? IPP: Interesting, Personal, and Provocative Communication
IPP is the kind of communication that makes an impact. It is not about being rude. It is about being real. It is a little riskier, but far more rewarding.
So why is IPP so difficult?
- Most professional relationships start as transactional – We work together but do not necessarily share deep personal connections.
- Lack of psychological safety – Many workplaces encourage harmony over honesty (until something goes terribly wrong).
- Self-protection – We fear looking foolish, so we wrap our words in cotton wool.
How to Recognise IPP Conversations
💡 Specificity – Instead of “How are you?”, say “How are you after your time off with your partner?” (A question that shows you actually listen.)
❓ Reasoning – Add weight to your thoughts: “I think we should not invest now because the risks are too high.” (Instead of “Maybe later?”)
💜 Sincerity – Say what you mean: “I admire your expertise, but I find the way you speak to me intimidating.”
Setting the Stage for IPP Communication
✅ Mutual respect – Acknowledge expertise while maintaining personal boundaries.
✅ Confidentiality – If someone trusts you with their thoughts, do not turn them
into lunchtime gossip.
✅ Safety – Emotional and physical safety matter. Choose the right time and
place for deeper conversations.
Where Do You Stand?
🟪 Do you find yourself trapped in PPPM because your environment does not feel psychologically safe?
🟪 If you are already engaging in IPP, how has it changed your conversations? How can you help others do the same?
Let us reflect. What would happen if we all moved a little further towards IPP?
🎥 Want to dive deeper? Watch Building Better Business Communication 👉 https://youtu.be/EIJ97fvN86c](https://youtu.be/EIJ97fvN86c
Let us build a world where communication is meaningful, not just polite. 🚀
